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Okay, so I’m sure this isn’t exactly a revelation, but, well, here goes:

Remember when (depending on your generation) you were about 11 to 15 years old, and all the girls started…”blooming”, some at different rates than the others? And remember how there were at least one or two flat-chested girls with low self-esteem who sought to “increase their bust” the artificial way?

No, sicko, not with plastic surgery…we’re talking about preteens here! I meant by “stuffing”.

By buying larger sized bras, and filling up the extra space between skin and fabric with toilet paper, those tiny little future attention whores were able to convincingly pretend to be more well-endowed than they actually were. Well, it was convincing until it came time to change for gym class, but that’s a different matter…

So anyway, I was thinking about bras today (no, not randomly…I went bra shopping with my roomie), and it occurred to me that the “push-up bras” that are so popular are basically Stuffing 2.0, is it not?

It’s basically a bra that is one or two (or several) cup sizes to large for the woman who will be buying it, with foam/gel/air cushions sewn in to make up the cup size difference!

Right, so like I said before, it’s not exactly a revelation…any idiot can see this.

What wows me, though, is that the existence of such bras implies the existence of some poor flat-chested dame (or perverted sucker) in history who managed to take the juvenile art of stuffing, something that many a girl has been ostracized for, and turn it into something that is widely accepted among grown women. Think  about it…if you saw a woman walking down the street with a stray sheet of TP hanging out of her shirt, you’d point and laugh, or at least scoff, wouldn’t you? But on the other hand, if a female friend of yours starts bragging about how fantastic her boobs are looking thanks to her new push-up bra, at most you’d probably be, depending on your previous relationship, a bit creeped that she was suddenly sharing so much about the state of her chest.

AND, on top of shifting the cultural view on semi-fake breasts, they’ve also turned Stuffing 2.0 into a runaway moneymaker! Seriously; push-up bras are now their own category of bra type, and they are usually much more expensive than their counterparts without the extra stuffing.

I mean, really, they’re charging women an extra 10-20 dollars per bra for something that basically amounts to getting a plain bra in a C cup instead of a A, and maybe picking up a few dozen rolls of Charmin on the way home from the mall! And no one even bats an eyelash!

It’s genius, I tell you! Sheer genius!


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