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Frakking guilt trips….

So, yes, I know we barely see/talk to each other. We go to school in different provinces, for god’s sake, and, well, I hate talking to people. Which is why I never do.

So, of course, if I never talk to people, then why should I keep MSN and Skype open? All they do is take up my precious RAM, anyway, and I need that for my torrents, and my TV, and my internet! Oh, and sometimes my homework…I guess…

I get that some people like talking to other people. I get that some people feel that, in order to stay friends, there must be consistent communication.

But I’m not like that.

Do you know why I avoid talking to people “back home” while I’m away?

It’s because I’m socially awkward and slow. When I talk to people one on one, there are usually many, and I mean many awkward silences. So, I avoid talking and sharing when I’m not face to face, so that when we are face to face, I have more stories to tell, less silences to deal with.

I mean, I get you…more or less. But I try to understand you, and why you tick. And, within my comfort zone, I try to accommodate that. After all, I accept your invites to go out whenever we’re in the same city, don’t I? If I had things my way, I might just stay home all the time…

So, in that view, could you please stop guilt tripping me? Every time I see you, every time we talk, you always, always put on your whining voice at least once, and complain that we never talk, that I’m never online, that you miss me, yada yada, and you look at me like a crying puppy.

Of course, you know that I don’t talk to anyone…at least, unless they start the convo. I’ve told you that. Many times. But you, with all your delusions of importance, don’t accept that like other people. Still, you whine and repeat that I never talk to you, emphasis on you; despite it all, you still act like I talk to everyone else in the world and ignore you on purpose.You force me to half-heartedly explain to you that I never have Skype open, I’m never signed into MSN…I don’t talk to anyone!

But nooo…isntead of giving me some leeway like normal people, you continue whining, and moping. Ugh.

You try to make me feel bad for being an introvert. You try to make me feel bad for for being a shut-in. Do you realize how…mean that is?! It’s like trying to make a Poodle feel bad for not being a Labrador Retriever. And you know the saddest part? You are slightly successful.

On the other hand, if I tell you all this, you will probably either get mad, or get even mopey-er…yeah, like I will ever let that happen. I shudder simply to think of it…

I’m stuck in this damn Catch-22, and it’s all your frakking fault.

I hate my friends sometimes…

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